Quotes:

I'm retiring this from facebook and sticking it here. They both come up with hilarious lines every day, but I'm not quick enough to write them all down.

Laela: "Mommy, do you know what would be inconvenient?
If you shoot your mother with a cannon."

(Ivy gets in bed with us in the middle of the night)
Chrissy: "Is there a lizard crawling around in here?"
Me: "No, it's just Ivy"
Chrissy: "I mean besides Ivy"
Ivy: "There were 2 Swipers!"

IVY: Daddy, I have something very 'portant to tell you.
ME: Yes Ivy?
IVY: Cat poo poo! Ha ha ha!
(you can't make this stuff up)

LAELA: Mom, can I tell you something?
CHRISSY: Yes Laela.
LAELA: Did you know that I'm an ape and a candle?

Laela (while getting her fingernails clipped): "Mommy, do you think they're scared because we're killing them?"

LAELA (While deciding whether or not to email anybody a flash-based parade float that she made in a PBS-Kids online game):
"I don't want to send this one to anyone. It would break their brain. I don't want anyone's brain to be broken."

"Daddy, I miss the dwarf Tyler. He's a DWARF! A DWARF! Daddy, do you know what a dwarf is?"
-Laela Olsen

--also--

LAELA: "When I grow up I'm going to be a magician."
IVY: "I'm going to be a train station!"

--and finally--

Laela: "I know what it's like to be dead...but I'm not going to tell you...for lots of reasons. It would take all night."